Lemon Blueberry Scones – You Suck at Cooking (episode 78)

Lemon Blueberry Scones – You Suck at Cooking (episode 78)

These hard soft muffin donut breakfast biscuits are a great way to kick off your day. While getting the maximum amount of sugar and carbs into your body. Which can only be delivered by these cakey cookie bread bun rock croissant snack clumps. *singing* First off, we are making the American style scone. Not the traditional Scottish scone, which is where scones were originally born. Whoops! These are the Scottish style scones, also know as British scones. The main difference is that the Scottish scone is meant to have jam and clotted cream spread on it. Whereas the American scones has all the flavor build inside it, so you don’t have to be fumbling with the pot of jam while you are trying to eat your breakfast when you’re hunting wild boar. Also I have been pronouncing it wrong, it’s actually “scon” not “scoohn” Unless you pronounce it “scoohn”, in which case it is “scoohn” not “scon”. It all depends on where you come from. But in the UK the “sconners” outnumber the “scoohnners” and everyone thinks everyone else is wrong. Guys look, don’t get involved. This is a battle that has been waged for millennia. Unless you are from there, in which case, fight on my brothers and sisters. So we’re gonna start with the ingredients for basic baking cement. Two cups of flour, Three tablespoons of sugar, and a tablespoon of baking powder. Combine this with water and you can use it lay bricks. In fact, let’s see if we can cement those stones together. *beautiful whistling* I always thought brick laying looked really satisfying, but now that I’m doing it I have to say I was right. Remember we’re using baking powder, which is a white powder that contains sodium acid pyrophosphate, which reacts with sodium bicarbonate once it’s wet and hot. Unlike baking soda, which is a cold refreshing drink to help you get through the baking process when your un-do is on fourhundo on a hot summery day. *slurping* Ahh. Fun fact: Scones were often smuggled into Ireland as crumbly potatoes because pastries are illegal there. Gonna wangjangle the baking cement together, and then we’re gonna take three quarters of a cold stick of butter and we’re gonna chop that up. *fast chopping* You want little chunks of butter, not warm butter that will blend in perfectly. Nobody knows why and nobody cares. So, I’m trying to spread those in. Get those coated by the flour. Some of them are gonna smush together and become bigger chunks and that’s when you know it’s time to go chunk hunting. *gun cocking sound* You take your fork and just smash those chunks apart a bit.. Or you can do the old Peter knife hands. Just do your best to get them smaller than a Skittle. *chuckle* I meant this as a joke but it actually works perfect. Do you see any Skittles? I don’t. Okay, maybe one. Now you wanna get it some lemon zest. I would go with around a tablespoon. Let’s call it what it is: exterior lemon skin scrapings. I’m gonna put in around one and a half cups of blueberries. This is a non-cautious amount of blueberries. Gonna wangjangle these a little bit. So now we’re gonna just form a little liquid volcano pocket cavity chamber impression. And we’ll pour in one cup of cream. If you wanna go more cakey go with half a cup of cream and two eggs. And now you wanna exercise… some restraint. You just wanna barely work the dough together. Don’t overwork it. More like glueberry scones, Am I right? Roboto’s voice: No, you’re not right. It was just a joke, calm down. Roboto: I am calm. Okay, well stay that way then. Roboto: I will. Okay, see ya. Roboto: Goodbye. Fun fact: scones are legal currency in Scotland. The current trading rate is one scone for seventeen shekels or 4 doubloons. So I’m gonna lightly flour my cutting board and I’m gonna get the dough on here. If you have a few leftover crumbles, don’t force them into the dough. Collect them in the corner of your bowl and say: Look. You weren’t good enough, fast enough, or sticky enough or whatever enough, and you missed your chance. There’s nothing you can do about it now. There’s no second chances with scones. You’ll never be a scone. But at least someone told you the truth. You’re welcome, goodbye. *thud* *slam* Just knead it ever so slightly with common decency. Then get this into a rectangular or square-like shape. If you are wondering about how thick to go, just think: if I were to punch this I wouldn’t break my wrist. I’d only severely sprain it. About an inch-ish. I’m gonna cut this in half. Then we will go halfsies again. Based on the strongest geometric shape: the scaling triangle. And then we are going to transfer these to a parchment papered pan. Don’t be a hero and think you can cut these on the parchment paper. Believe me, I tried. Learn from my mistakes. Or you know what? Maybe you’re better than me. Prove me wrong. Whoops! Give them space to express themselves, cause change is inevitable. Un-do’s on fourhundo. Now this is gonna go in the un-do for about twenty minutes, but we’re gonna trust the browning more than the timing. Watch with your eyes, not with your ears. (knowledge) *ping* So, there you have it. American style lemon blueberry scone. Easy to hold. All the flavors build in. This is a real American scone. *paper crackling* I mean, this is a real American scone. This one is easily eaten while driving your pickup truck to the outlet mall to buy a monster truck. This is a real ‘Merican scone. I also tried to make an ice-cream scone, but it kinda just drooped over. It became a scone-u-copia. You could like… hollow that out and put in a mini pumpkin and like a whole buffet. It’d be great for thanksgiving. And I tried to make a scone-nut for the kids, but it turned into more of a scagle. And I tried to make a scuffin, cause where do you draw the line between all these pastries? Like what’s what? And I made a croisscone, for the French inside us all. Au revoir. (Goodbye in english) *music starts* Put down your phone, it’s time to hone your ability to make a scone. Pick up some blueberries, scrape the skin of a lemon and you’re good to go. Cause you’re wasting your life on the internet. So get into the kitchen with some oven mitts. Now wangjangle that backing cement. It’s a rewarding activity you won’t regret. Making scones, your friends will be blown away by the awesomeness, they’ll start to moan. They’ll wonder why you didn’t do it before and they’ll all be impressed by the greatness you’ve shown. This is the magic of scones. The magic of Scotland, the land we call home. Unless we’re not from there, in which case it’s just a real faraway place we’d one day like to go. Scones! Hey guys, WNC here, and go subscribe to YSAC! He makes amazing videos and I totally recommend him.

100 thoughts on “Lemon Blueberry Scones – You Suck at Cooking (episode 78)

  1. I accidentally left out the salt clip. Put half a teaspoon of salt in the dry ingredients, please. Or 2/4 coffee spoon.

  2. Juice that lemon and add some powdered sugar and you've got a tasty lemon glaze, just do it, trust me.

  3. Who gives this video a thumbs down? Quite possibly the BEST how to baking video. Especially for scones. I'm hooked.

  4. not to be that person but it's scone like "gone" and if you say otherwise you deserve to be thrown into the channel

  5. S-Cones are lightly bound extra dry petrified particles. When dropped into a toilet expands rapidly and explodes the bowl. A funny prank among giraffes who are misanthropic. Giraffe is pronounced in UK lingo as "Jeer Rawfffft" because of a 466 year-old Royal British Grudge.

  6. I actually know why the butter has to be chunky. It's so you get little pockets of butter in your scones when they're hot and without them they just are not scones at all. With the chunked butter, your scones will rise a lot on the good pastry scale. But with the melty butter, it doesn't have any room for growth (and it makes your scones taste to buttery so I suggest not doing it).
    And don't under any circumstance use margarine. If you don't have butter, go to the store and buy some because margarine will KILL your scones as they are allergic to margarine.
    And if you use salted butter, you don't need to add as much salt (or no salt at all) because if you add more salt then the scone can become the thing to murder your livers.
    This has been a PSA, thank you for coming to my TEDTalk

  7. Ah. Making fun of British people. Almost as fun as making fun of French people. Unless you are including Ireland in on the fun. In which case making fun of people from the British isles is the most fun.

  8. How many of these scones can you eat in one sitting? I'm on my fourth, but I'm starting to feel a weird feeling in my stomach. 🙁

  9. “Look, you weren’t good enough, fast enough or sticky enough, and you missed your chance. There’s no second chances with scones.

  10. if you want crumbly American style scones, do you just use 1/2 cup cream + eggs? Or would i be substituting the flour with cake flour? Thanks!

  11. Once my family and some family friends went up to Scotland for a holiday. One day scones were ordered. I have done my very best to stay out of the scone war (or alternatively, irritate everyone by calling them sconones, or sconones, so I simply watched as the families deteriorated into fighting, including getting the waitress involved.
    They were good scones.
    Also, there is also a war over which goes on top, the jam or cream. With this I have made a decision but will not admit it for fear of assassination in the night.
    Tis a war that has claimed many casualties.

  12. scottish person here, the “scown” is the pronunciation of the place, and “scon” is the food
    end of argument, single handily ended the debate
    ur welcome

  13. I saw this video a few years ago. Earlier today, i saw the word scone in RT game's latest video and my brain lit up like a sleeper agent. I immediately ran to 2 stores and the scones are in the oven now

  14. You don't want the butter warm and melted, because in the cooking process– it will allow the butter to crisp thee everything around it, almost like frying (ie the dough/ scone, etc). Giving it a salty buttery crispy taste. ENJOY!

  15. Just made these, thanks for the recipe. Also used pumpkin instead of cream in one batch and it's pretty good but not as crumbly

  16. I know why you don’t want it to be smooth. People also grate ice cold butter into the flour stuff. It’s called








  17. Was looking for a quick an easy recipe for scones and youtube recommended your channel. Boy am I glad or am I glad!! Keep up the good work!!!

  18. "Ice cream scone…"
    Oh no..
    Why won't you just kill me!?

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